Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
