Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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