So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
