I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
