The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
