i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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