there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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