remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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