finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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