ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
