we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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