so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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