It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize