she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
