Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
