Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
