I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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