And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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