PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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