I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize