I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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