I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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