So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
