I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize