His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize