Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
