When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
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How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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