New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
All the doctor said was why
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
