Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
