let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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