dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
