I am puke
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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