Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
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If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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