so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
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And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
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A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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