we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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