I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
