Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
