I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize