Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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