I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
