Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
