I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My breasts were aching with rage.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
