I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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