I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
