youre lurking in front of me
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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