What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she told me i tasted like america
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
