the new term for farting is butt boxing.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
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and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
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Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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