i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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