I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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