when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
