Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
