September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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