i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
