sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
