you didnt know i had herpes?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize