Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
