he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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