I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
