They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
