He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
