That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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