sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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