I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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