he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast