There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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