I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You ruined the universe
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize