Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
